My spare time is few and far between these days. I am happy to report that my son is napping for the first time in four months, so thankfully I have a fleeting moment to breathe. I am a little worried he’s getting sick, though, so this nap may or may not be a good thing. I’m really hoping I’m wrong.
Something has been on my mind for a while. Well, essentially for four months. I worked my bum off at getting back into shape after Boo was born. I mean, really worked. And worked hard. I counted calories, I ran, I did a bit of strength training. I kicked my own butt. And to be perfectly honest, I am damn proud of my accomplishment.
But now here I am, back to square one. Pregnant and gaining weight. And not just a little weight — two pounds here, three pounds there. Oh no. We’re talking double digits, people. I know women are supposed to gain weight when they’re pregnant. Duh. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. And even though I am on course to gain very minimally and very slowly, I still can’t help but cringe as I watch the scale add a number every couple of days or weeks. After tirelessly working, shaping and making my body the perfect fit for me for months on end, tacking on the pounds, for better or worse, is not easy to accept.
I attribute a lot of my hesitation and crabbiness, and general feelings of being down to SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder is no joke. It is serious and awful. I love the sun. Thank goodness it’s out today!
I’m still running, yes. But it’s not the same. In the first trimester I totally psyched myself out and thought I was too tired, too queasy, too fat, too whatever — to run my two or three miles. I started interval training. And it was great because I felt like I was still doing something, but mentally I totally psyched myself out. I’ve since joined an awesome Facebook group dedicated to achieving year-long fitness goals. I don’t even know these people except for two of them, and let me just tell you, they are the most optimistic, encouraging, amazing people I have ever “met.” Whenever I get down on myself, they snap me back to reality. When I feel fat and pregnant, they make me realize that I’m being so ridiculous.
You know that commercial for some medication — I think it’s for rheumatoid arthritis maybe? — and the narrator says, “bodies in motion stay in motion…” and essentially quotes Newton’s laws of motion? Well, let me just tell you something. Newton was right. A few days ago I was running and decided I wasn’t going to interval train like I had been. I wanted to see how far I could go again. I ran and ran, and finally made it 1.25 miles without stopping for a rest. I then decided to walk for a minute and continue my run. Starting back up and staying on pace was so difficult that I actually had to stop and walk twice more until I made it my 2.25 miles. It was rough. The next day I decided I was going to run for two miles straight. Well, 1.75 miles rolled around and here comes my subconscious making me paranoid about needing a break, and lo and behold, it was extremely difficult to start and stay on pace once I walked.
All right, fine. There’s another stupid reason my runs have sucked lately. Never underestimate the importance of proper workout (or in my case, running) attire. As you may or may not know, pregnant boobies can be huge and painful. Your run of the mill cheapie sports bra will not make your girls feel better. In fact, they can make the ladies feel like they’re on fire and can essentially ruin any hope for a halfway decent workout.
I finally invested in an expensive, supportive running bra and O.M.G. A world of difference. A world of difference. If you ever find yourself in an uncomfortable apparel predicament, do yourself a favor, find something that fits. So what really helped my last run? My sports bra. Yup.
What have I learned about all of this? Well… I’m still learning. But here’s what I’ve got so far:
- I am pregnant. I will gain weight. It will come off. And no, it’s not the end of the world.*
- I will not stop running.
- I will not give up.
- I will always wear a supportive sports bra.
- I won’t underestimate the power of the sun on my mood, and I will remind myself of that daily throughout the winter.
*really still working on this one…
There’s still a learning curve. I’m going with it. I’ll figure it out soon. I’m aiming for a half marathon next fall or winter. I really need to stay on track. I’m hoping my new stride (and my new over the shoulder boulder holder) will help keep me in line.
Wish me luck!